Category Archives: I SPANK

We Prefer To Say “Spanking”

plateOur relationship is easily defined as a “Domestic Discipline” relationship on many levels. I am the Head of Household. We both believe strongly in the different God-given roles of men and women. We both understand the importance of honesty, respect, and teamwork in a relationship. And yes, I spank my wife when I feel that she deserves a spanking.

We have clearly seen the harmony and comfort this lifestyle brings to our marriage. Yet, neither of us has ever been completely comfortable labeling our relationship with the word “Discipline.”

So, we have decided from now on we will refer to our lifestyle as a “Spanking Relationship” instead of a “Discipline Relationship.” After all, the “Discipline” in our relationship is 100% Spankings and never the other things that some couples include like corner time or writing words. Plus, I have never told my wife that she is going to be “Disciplined” for something, I tell her she is going to be “Spanked” and so this choice of words is right for us.

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Be Careful What You Ask For

plateThis weekend my wife posted about her “bratty girl” spanking and ended it with “I can’t wait for the next one.” Yep – be careful what you ask for.

It was a very relaxing holiday weekend for both of us. I love nothing more than hanging out with my beautiful wife and yes – she got what she ask for more than once. With the weekend over and both of us back to work today, I couldn’t help but smile and think how lucky she is to have a soft, comfy chair in her office.

There Is No ‘How To’ Rule Book

plateOne common theme in most of our posts on this blog is the message that any couple exploring a spanking or discipline relationship should be very honest with each other about what they need and expect, what works for them, and maybe even more important what doesn’t work for them.

Our blog and many of the other sites out there on this topic hopefully stimulates that conversation and not dictate it, because there is no right or wrong. Don’t be afraid to experiment and figure out what works for you and what doesn’t, and communicate with complete honesty about what you like and what don’t like because in the end it only works if it works for you.

I bring this up because we hear from many people who say “we are thinking about a discipline relationship” and most of them are looking for some kind of ‘how to rule book’ on exactly how a discipline relationship should work. Well, there isn’t one – and while many have views based on what works for them, I don’t believe that there is any such thing as a typical DD relationship.

Here are some of the basic things that we have discovered work for us;

Keep the rules simple, and remember those rules can and should develop over time.

Be respectful of each other and understand your different roles in the relationship.

It’s ok to ask for a spanking when you feel you need the special attention. A spanking doesn’t need to only happen when the HOH decides it should. As you probably know, we are not always the best mind readers.

Finally, communicate – always be honest with each other about your expectations, and what you like and what you don’t like when it comes to spanking or being spanked. If not, you will likely find more frustration than fulfillment.

 

The T.V. Remote & The Nickel

plateMy wife has written a few times about the T.V. remote and the nickel with no explanation so I thought maybe I should shed some light on what that means.

My wife has difficulty keeping her legs still while over my lap with her panties pulled down and her bottom at the mercy of my hand. I suppose it is a common problem and natural reaction to wiggle, lift your legs, and kick a little anticipating the next smack across your bare bottom – but I insist she stay still during a spanking and moving around is not allowed.

Every time my wife would lift her legs or kick, she would get a few extra hard and fast smacks across her bottom – that worked a little bit, but not enough to keep her from forgetting the ‘be still’ rule far too often. So one afternoon while she was over my lap for a spanking on the couch, the kicking started. After the normal extra hard smacks as a reminder I reached over and grabbed the T.V. remote from the coffee table and balanced it across the back of her legs, making it clear that if the remote fell, her bottom would pay for it dearly. It fell once, but not twice. She has not looked at the T.V. remote the same since.

Oh, about the nickel – a couple weeks later we had the same problem in our bedroom and there was no T.V. remote handy, so we learned that a nickel placed on the back of her legs works just as well.

A Little Trip In The Garden

1I love my husband dearly, no matter what.  He has always taken care of me, stood by my side no matter what and shows me every day how important I am to him.

I am a gardener by heart.   Every year for the last 20 plus years I grow a vegetable garden which includes multiple types of tomato plants, lettuce, cucumbers, potatoes, pumpkins, snow peas and my husband’s favorite green beans ( pole and bush.)   Oh and this year I am trying watermelon, we will see how that goes since I have never done that before.

I start planning in January/February time frame and start planting by March.  Almost everything I plant I start from seeds.  Very few plants do I or my husband actually buys.  It is so much cheaper and so simple to just start with seeds.  But it does take some work on your part.

This year I had the most beautiful snow peas.  The vines were healthy, beautiful color and had lots of white flowers which mean peas… Daddy and I had worked in the rain off and on all day to prep that part of the garden which is mostly roses and other bushes to get ready for the next day to spread bark.

It was a great day everything was ready for the next day and then my husband went outside later to look at what we had done to make sure all was good… and then he noticed an evergreen tree with its limbs hanging over the fence and thought he better trim those to keep needles out of the new bark.

Well he trimmed them and then he stepped back and needless to say tripped and fell on my beautiful peas which are now in the recycle bin.

I have planted new seeds since it is still early I just hope I get the same beautiful plants.

It took everything I had not to just flip out and end up over his lap with panties around my ankles.

plateYes I felt really bad.  My wife makes a great point. I would never spank her for an accident if she took the same little “trip” in the garden like I did.  But as she said, it wouldn’t be the accident that got her in trouble – it would likely be the little flip out afterward that would end up over my lap with panties around her ankles.

Handling A Discipline Spanking

plateAs we explore our discipline relationship, I have some basic ground rules for how bad-girl spankings are handled in our household.

I will never spank my wife in the heat of the moment or spank out of anger or frustration. Doing so would go against the very reason we introduced discipline in our relationship to begin with – to avoid conflict and disorder, and handle every situation in a calm and loving way.

Find a special place for discipline spankings. It should be separate from a place associated with anything other than discipline spankings like a special chair or location.

Discipline spankings are not supposed to be comfortable or fun, so all the things associated with a playful good-girl spanking like rubbing my wife’s bottom between smacks or spanking over her panties are out.

Communicate before a discipline spanking. This should happen immediately before the spanking, when you are in your special place. Be very clear about why a discipline spanking is necessary, and the expectations for not repeating the behavior in the future.

Allow yourself plenty of time for the spanking. I always make sure that we have enough time for both a proper discipline spanking and also plenty of time for lots of hugs and love afterward.

A Day Full Of Soup & Sitcoms

1Tuesday this week I was sick. When you drink your first cup of coffee and realize it isn’t sitting just right on your stomach and you are running to either the closest bathroom or a sink whichever one you can get to first, like most women you are thinking when was the last time I did this. Was it after a night of partying? Or was a change of life experience? Or was it just that you have a bug of some type.

For me it was a bug. This meant that I got to stay in bed and let Daddy take care of me. He would not come within 5 feet of me in the beginning, not really true, but he kept some distance, not that I blame him, and he did spoil me.

As I laid in bed with my water bottle and Daddy bringing me chicken soup or whatever I wanted I got to watch what I wanted on TV. I found one of my favorite sitcoms “Frasier.” I watched two episodes one of which if you are a Frasier fan was when everyone thought he was gay (remember those tennis shorts) and the other one is when he thinks Roz is in love with him but he is in a relationship with I think his new producer since Roz quit.

This woman was so annoying. Some of it was just what happens with anyone trying to fit into a new family and show your new boyfriend that you can fit in with his family. But she was just rude, taking phone calls at dinner, acting like she was already accepted into the family.

I could see Frasiers face each time his new girlfriend voiced her opinion and all I thought was….JUST SPANKED HER!!!

plateThe only thing worse than getting a discipline spanking when you deserve one is NOT getting a discipline spanking when you deserve one.

My Bottom Is just Transforming

plateAfter a busy few weeks of personal and family obligations, this past week my wife and I have had the chance to take a deep breath and spend more time together.  It’s been a great week full of love and yes, plenty of spankings.

As my wife said in a recent post, some of her recent good-girl spankings have been a little longer and harder than normal.  I think because we both missed our special time together with her over my lap it was just natural for me to give her cute little bottom a bit of extra attention.  It was apparent to me that she missed this attention as well, because the harder I spanked her bottom the more she seemed to relax.

After her first good-girl spanking in several days she was quick to point out that the spanking was harder than normal, her bottom was a little more pink (I never think it is any color other than pink even when she thinks it’s closer to red) and more ‘tingly’ than usual after a good-girl spanking.  While she would not admit it, looking in her eyes and then then feeling how aroused she was afterward it was obvious she was not complaining, rather she really liked the extra attention.

She was so cute last night when she told me her bottom was still a little sore from a good-girl spanking earlier in the day, but it was fine, “my bottom is just transforming.”  Well, it is still early and maybe I can help the transformation some more later today.

I am very blessed to have such a beautiful and wonderful wife. One thing that we both realize when daily life takes over and we don’t have enough quality time together is – we really need each other.

Opps, I Forgot My Lunch! Part 1

plateIn our relationship, it’s more often the little things rather than big things that happen and lead my wife to end up over my lap with her panties down for a discipline spanking. I guess we can be thankful for that.

Thinking back, it’s actually the little things in our relationship that have caused the most frustration and anger with each other, and the thing that led us to explore a discipline relationship. 

So, the latest little thing – “Opps, I forgot my lunch!” I will sometimes make a lunch for my wife the night before and put it in the fridge for a quick grab-and-go the next morning. Well, very often I get a text from my beautiful wife after she arrives at work. Yep, you got it – “Opps, I forgot my lunch!” Now I must say that she asked me to help her remember to grab her lunch before heading out the door and I agreed, so when she forgets it we are both to blame.

To solve the problem, I have created a plaque that reads “DON’T FORGET YOUR LUNCH!” and placed it on her bathroom counter where she is sure to see it several times each morning. From now on when I hear “Opps, I forgot my lunch!” it is not because I did not remind her, and we will have to explore more effective ways to help her remember to take lunch.

Consistency, Consequences, & Circumstances

plateIt’s been a while since we have posted on the blog – blame it on a very busy spring getting outdoors, good intentions, and just plain old ‘no time.’

One thing we have learned about creating a successful discipline relationship is the importance of consistency with the household rules, and consistency with the consequences for breaking them. That does not mean there are not times when circumstances must be considered – I believe there are and they should. However, when circumstance surrounding a broken rule comes into play and I decide a discipline spanking is not in order because of those circumstances, it is important that I discuss that decision with my wife, and never just ignore it.

Due to some changes at work, my wife has been under more stress than usual. Lack of sleep, unpredictable situations, and unhappy co-workers are among the things that have made her a little grumpier and ‘forgetful’ about our household rules than normal. I understand, and do my very best to be a supportive and loving husband in every way.

My wife will tell you she is never looking for a red-bottom discipline spanking. At the same time, if she feels that she has done something to deserve a red bottom and I ignore it, she is left feeling like I don’t care, she doesn’t have my attention, or the situation is not important to me – and that is not true at all. In my mind I am only being understanding of the circumstances.

So, while I always explain the reason why she is going to be spanked before a discipline spanking, I realize that explaining the reason why I am not going to spank her bottom for something is equally important so she understands I am not ignoring the situation and I love and support her very much.

If that doesn’t work, nothing says you have my full attention and I love and support you like being over my lap with your panties pulled down.

1As my husband said lots going on at work, and trust me he has been so considerate. My bottom should of been a deep red many times. I am so very lucky to have him in my life.

My bottom is very warm right now and yes I enjoyed every minute of it (well maybe not every minute) but it was not a “bad girl spanking.”  When he wants to get my attention, he spanks one cheek over and over and it is very stingy. It’s his secret weapon. When he does it, I can’t keep my feet down no matter how hard I try, and he hates that. So I am sure that very soon I will be writing about how my husband has decided to address this.

To my husband, thank you so much, I love you with all my heart.

The Snooze Alarm & A Red Bottom

plateRecently my wife has decided that it is a good idea to set our alarm at least an hour  before we actually need to be up in the morning, and then set the snooze button to go off every 10 minutes afterward.

As the Head of Household part of my job is to initiate the rules and I have decided we have a new one – the alarm is only allowed to go off twice.  It is fine to hit the snooze button one time, and then it’s up and out of bed on the second alarm.

Now when it comes to discipline spanking, we have never had a fixed number of smacks on the bottom for breaking a particular rule. Rather, when it comes to bad girl spankings it is completely up to me to decide how it will be handled which I do depending on the circumstances.

However, we are going to deal with the snooze alarm problem differently.  If the alarm goes off a third time, the punishment will be five bare bottom smacks for each alarm – yes, 15 for the third alarm, 20 for the fourth, and so it goes.

This morning my wife hit the snooze button at least 6 times, so you do the math and we will see how motivated she is tomorrow morning.

plateSo, my wife was quick to point out that 5 smacks per alarm meant that one side of her bottom would get more attention than the other. Fair enough, I would not want either the left or right cheek to feel left out so 6 smacks per alarm it is.

1Yes, I was quick to point out that if I am not motivated now, each cheek needs to be spanked evenly. Since he made this rule, which I new this was coming at some point as I have been doing this for years.

I am probably not helping myself right now, but I think that for each week I am motivated to break this habit I should get something special that is personal that only I and my husband would know the meaning of.

Of course this week should only be four days long.  I will keep you posted.

plateAfter agreeing on the new ‘snooze alarm’ rule a few weeks ago my wife has done really well, until this morning.  She not only hit the snooze button once or twice, but 7 times.  Yep, 7.

Let’s see, the rule is 6 bare bottom smacks for each alarm so you do the math.  She is a bit anxious at work today knowing that when she gets home tonight her cute little bottom is going to be a little sore.

1Just as my husband said the morning wake up alarm went of 7 times, as I was anxious at work all day knowing fully that a bad girl spanking was in my near future ( like when I got home ) but it didn’t happen that same day because of family obligations.

As you can imagine I was anxious the whole next day and thinking did I do anything else to increase the amount of time I would be laying across his lap.  The answer to that is no, but I will say that he was true to his word about the 6 spanks per alarm after it goes off the third time.

I even thought that maybe if I wear his favorite panties he might after seeing them maybe deviate a little from the number I knew was coming.  The answer is no, but I will say that my panties did stay on a little longer than normal.  Since they stayed on a little longer each swat was harder which stung longer even after my panties were around my ankles.  My bottom was very warm for a long time afterwards.

Of course I had a lot of my husband special attention afterwards.  I love you Daddy very much.

Things Are Finally Getting Back To Normal

plateAfter a couple months of on again off again problems with my wrist and hand, it seems they’ve figured it out and with the right combination of meds and therapy things are finally getting back to normal.

Over the weekend, my wife was a little surprised just how much better my spanking hand was when her panties came down and her cute little bottom was reminded what a good old fashioned spanking feels like.

Through it all, I must say how proud I am of my wife for her patience and attitude while my hand was in recovery.  I am sure there are many women who would have taken advantage of the situation, and she never did.

Even with her added frustration of not being able to be put across my lap when she either deserved a discipline spanking or the times when she simply needed the comfort of my hand on her bottom, she stayed focused on making sure that the dynamic of our relationship did not suffer.

Once again she has proven to me how strong her commitment to our relationship is, and I am blessed to have such a wonderful woman in my life as we share our journey, together.

The Shape Of A Heart

plateI know this is an old debate that goes back many centuries, but it is still fun and interesting to ponder…..

It turns out that the worldwide known heart-shape, the symbol of love, doesn’t have to do anything with its anatomic original. An American psychologist says it wasn’t the human heart but the women’s buttocks that were used as its prototype. heart shape looks like woman’s bottom.

Galdino Pranzarone, a psychologist from the Roanoke College in Salem , Virginia , says that the red chubby heart, the symbol of love, was inspired by women’s body shape . He suggests that it was the beauty of women’s buttocks that inspired our predecessors to use this part of the body as a symbol that later on became the symbol of love.

“We can hardly say that the two halves of the red heart shape correspond to the two lobes of the ear or two ventricles of the heart put together”, – says the scientist. Pranzarone also said that the real human heart could never be that scarlet. He adds the heart doesn’t have a hollow on top and a bevel from top to bottom. Yet woman’s buttocks have this very contour.

During his research, professor Prazarone has scrupulously analyzed volumes of literary and mythological sources and found the supporting evidence for his hypothesis. The psychologist reminds that even ancient Greeks glorified the beauty of women’s body, especially of the reverse side of it, so to speak. For example, Aphrodite was considered the goddess of beauty inspiring everybody mostly by the shape of her buttocks. The Greeks even constructed a temple called “ Aphrodite Kallipygos” that can be translated as “Goddess with Beautiful Buttocks”.

Combining Discipline And Intimacy, Part 3

plateWe learned something important recently – the combination of discipline and intimacy is a more important dynamic in our relationship than we thought.

It is agreed that a discipline spanking should never be put off, yet as we have said before finding the time alone to make that happen as quickly as it should can sometimes be a challenge in our house.

The other day we had a situation where a discipline spanking was in order, but the time we had to be alone was limited.  We only had enough time for the discipline spanking with no time afterward for intimacy.  So my wife ended up with a sore bottom, a quick hug, and then back to the family routine.

Well, without the intimacy afterward neither of us felt complete.  In fact, both of us spent the rest of the evening a little frustrated without the closure, closeness, and forgiveness that the combination of discipline and intimacy bring to our relationship.

In the future, we will find a better balance of not putting off a discipline spanking and making sure we have the time for discipline and intimacy – together.

Combining Discipline And Intimacy, Part 1

plateWe have said before how different the dynamics of a Discipline relationship seem to be for everyone – and that is a great thing.  Figuring out what works for you to achieve the results you desire as a couple is what a successful relationship or marriage is all about.

There are a lot of different opinions on erotic spanking or what we refer to in our house as “good girl spankings” versus a discipline spanking or as my wife would say, a “bad girl spanking.”  It’s no secret that my wife found she likes regular good girl spankings but still does everything possible to avoid a discipline spanking, which of course is very different physically and emotionally.

It’s clear that some couples only practice one or the other, but for most it seems that both erotic spankings and discipline spankings are in one way or another a regular part of their relationship.

While both erotic and discipline spanking seems to be a common practice, most of the comments I have read encourage complete separation of discipline and intimacy. I understand why this separation is probably very important for some couples to avoid confusion and keep the dynamic of a Discipline relationship in check, but for us that intimacy is a very important part of the closeness and love that my wife needs from me after a discipline spanking to feel safe, secure, and forgiven.

If I ever thought that intimacy afterward made the discipline less effective or it sent a confusing message, then we would reconsider it.  But for now, it works for us.

Our Rules Are Common, And Uncommon

plateThe rules in our household are pretty common – respect, open communication, responsibility,  and should add here that I never expect anything from my wife that I do not expect from myself, that is just how we roll.

I do have a few rules that may be a bit uncommon, but they are my little pet peeves and so in the spirit of harmony in our relationship we have agreed that breaking them is a quick route to a bad girl spanking.

The pocket rule – credit cards, cash, and other valuables are never to be left in your pants, coats, or any other ‘pockets.’  Put them away where they are safe and secure after a stop at the gas station or grocery store.  I understand that her purse is a mystery in itself and putting these things away quickly may be a challenge in itself, but that is her personal zone and I except that but pockets are off limits.

Sugar on the coffee maker – my wife loves sugar in her coffee. We have one of those Keurig machines that makes one cup at a time. Somehow, the sugar finds its way to the “drip tray” on the machine and turns into some kind of super glue almost immediately.  I am not sure exactly how this happens.  Seems simple to me, make the coffee, put sugar in the coffee away from the machine, stir the coffee and enjoy.

Don’t leave it in the car – this one just came up today when I drove my wife’s car.  A few stray cans of soup and soda pop bought long ago still rolling around on the floor of the back seat when they should have been brought inside and put away with the other groceries.

Empty TP rolls on the TP hook in our bathroom – an obvious one, replace it and throw away the empty roll.  The same thing applies to paper towels in the kitchen.

Unmatched socks – my wife in wonderful about doing laundry and putting it away.  However, it is never OK to put ‘one sock’ without its partner in my sock drawer.  I have put a ‘lonely hearts bin’ for unmatched socks in my closet where they can wait for their mate to show up, toss them in there.  I should mention we once had a big problem with used dryer sheets being found all over the house, but not for a long time.

My wife may say that the list of my pet peeves is much longer than this, and she is probably right.  I am more than happy to work on a longer list.

1I have to say that I do agree with everything my husband said about common and uncommon rules.  But I have to defend myself on the stray soup and pop cans in my car today.

First the soup cans he put them in the spot in the back of my car and I didn’t see them.  Also we purchased them together and he did not help me carry them into the house.  Maybe if he did those soup cans would have been put away long ago.

Second the pop cans all were in their cases and I had just purchased them last night. But after I had brought in, and put away the rest of the groceries I decided that going back out and getting the pop could wait until today.   Next time I will just ask him to get the pop.

Yes my husband has a lot of pet peeves that would take him days to write about.  They are little things that seem to bug him.  So let’s talk about one of mine.

I am the one that stops at the grocery store on my way home from work if there is something we need and I also get the mail.  My husband will open the door for me when I get home with groceries, purse, work items, and mail in hand.  He will then pull the only piece of mail out of my hand that he wants to see and then walks back to the kitchen counter, hops up on the bar stool and reads it.  I set the bags of groceries, work items and mail down.  Then I take off my shoes and put my work items, shoes, keys and purse away in the closet and take the groceries and the mail into the kitchen.   I put the groceries away while he then looks at the rest of the mail.

Does anyone else know how frustrating it is to walk into the house and have your husband take one little item out of your hands and then go sit down to read it while you finish bringing in the rest of the items and then put them away yourself?

No wonder I left items in my car to wait until another day to put away.

I could go on and on about my other pet peeves but right now I am sure this will be the longest post we have made so far.

I Am Not Donna Reed, Part Two

1I thought I would follow up on my “I am not Donna Reed” article since I felt that maybe a little more detail on what and why I said it would be of interest. I see so many sites that say we are Soul Mates and he is my Daddy.  Even though I don’t know if they are Soul Mates or not, it seems to me that many take to the internet to be who they aren’t. I mean really, just because its posted on the internet doesn’t mean it is true.

First my husband is my Soul Mate.  I realize a lot of people use that term lightly.  But to us it isn’t a term to be used lightly.  A Soul Mate isn’t just  that I am really attracted to you, I believe it to be the following;

The dictionary defines this as  “a person with whom one has a strong affinity, shared values and tastes, and often a romantic bond.”

My definition is a person with whom you have a strong affinity, shared values, tastes and a romantic bond but also who see’s you as you.  Your Soul Mate should know without you even being in the room that you need them.  Meaning that they have a feeling that no matter where you are that they need to connect with you, a quick phone call or a text message that simply says I love you.  A Soul Mate also helps you realize your weaknesses and helps you strengthen them.  A Soul Mate is someone who can look at you and say BS.  They also wipe away every tear and take away every fear you have at every moment.  Your relationship is direct and at times can be too direct.  But once all is out in the open they know how to make you feel not only loved but safe, and secure.  Not just for that moment but the feeling of knowing that no matter what they will always be right by your side.

I honestly know a lot of couples that have been together for a long time but very few are true Soul Mates.  I am not saying they don’t love and care for each other, it’s just that they are afraid to take that next step, of opening up your heart no matter how much it may hurt.

When I met my husband I was one of those people.  I had been hurt and was not looking to get hurt again.  But there was something about him that I could not resist.  I still see it in his eyes today.  Yes I do call him Daddy.  But he has earned that from me, and his eyes still tell me “I will always be right here.”

plateI would like to add that a Soul Mate is someone who may seem to overlook little imperfections when in reality they do not see them as imperfections at all, rather see it as just part of the person they love.  It is someone who listens, even when they may know exactly what you are going to say they let you say it anyway.  A Soul Mate is someone who knows you better than you know yourself, and whose opinion and support is invaluable in your life, always.

My wife is my Soul Mate and I thank God for her every day.

What If I Break A Rule?

plateBeing the Head of Household does not make me perfect, and I do not approach my role as the HOH with the attitude that I am perfect.  My wife does not expect me to be perfect, and I do not expect her to be perfect.  We are human and we are bound to make mistakes.

One of the most common questions about a Discipline relationship is “if your wife is spanked for breaking a rule or for some other reason, what happens when you break a rule?”  It’s a fair question, and one that I can only answer for how things work in our relationship and nobody else.

I can tell you that before introducing Discipline in our relationship, my mistakes or lack of follow-though with my responsibilities was nowhere near what it is today.

Now, with defined roles and responsibilities in our relationship my commitment and obligation to both my wife and my family is very strong – stronger than I can tell you.  I approach everything I do with a commitment to follow the same rules I expect from my wife, especially the things that we have agreed would guarantee her a sore bottom.

In the end, if I make a mistake or do not meet my obligation to my wife and family, I am much harder on myself than I would ever be on my wife’s cute little bottom.  Actually, I think that when it comes to clearing the slate and forgiveness, she has it easier than I do.

Speak Up, Even About The Little Things

plateSome may think that discipline in a relationship would stifle communication – if my wife speaks up or disagrees with me, she would be punished for it.  Maybe it works that way in some relationships but not around here.  In fact, speaking openly is a rule in our marriage, and my wife understands that she is more likely to get an uncomfortable bare bottom spanking for not speaking up than she ever would for challenging me about something.

Obviously this does not mean it is ok to be disrespectful, demanding, or defiant.  Those are all things that would result in a sore bottom on their own.  What it does mean is being comfortable to speak openly and communicate about things big or small.  Actually, I think sometimes it’s the little stuff that can lead to the most trouble.

We had a chance to better define this rule a few nights ago when she was silently unhappy with my choice to watch a particular television program.  It was something I ran across channel surfing and thought we would enjoy it, but honestly I didn’t care much one way or another and would have been just as happy to watch something else.  Instead of speaking up and saying “Let’s watch something else” my wife didn’t say a word, and we know where ‘suffering in silence’ often leads – anger and frustration – and it did.

Even though my wife ended up over my lap and with a sore bottom because of her attitude, the incident gave us the chance to have a long talk about how important it is to the harmony in our marriage to always speak your mind – even about the little things.

Summer Is Over, Am I Ready?

1I love the change of seasons.  You go from bitter cold to the sweet smell of warmth.  Today was the first day of sunny warmth with a small wind with a bite of cold.  Meaning here comes fall.  Leaves changing color, falling off of the trees and everyone getting ready for winter.  This also means the start of lots of time together indoors which can be a lot of fun and also a little challenging.

Lots of time together with no place to go – our house has a lot of space but I can see myself getting some additional ‘special’ attention.

plateYes, this is very true.  The household rules don’t change with the seasons but the opportunity to break them certainly increases.  Heaters and lights left on,  robes on the bedroom floor,  wet shoes and jackets not put away properly – yes, the coming of winter and more time inside certainly does increase the chance of a discipline spanking.  A warm glowing fire and a warm glowing bottom…ah, the joys of winter.

A Spanking Scale, Really?

1Why do men have to look at everything like a challenge?  Here is how I think that goes – Bill says “So Bob I gave my wife a #5 spanking last night.”  And Bob says “Oh Bill I have done that many times, she actually prefers a #5 spanking so I have had to raise the scale. We are now at #8 when she breaks a rule that she knows and has agreed to not to break. Sometimes I think she does it on purpose.”

Like I said, a spanking scale, really?  Like I don’t have the same emotion, knowing that I didn’t follow the rule that I agreed too.  I know what I agreed to and you don’t see me talking to my girlfriends saying “Hey my husband gave me a #9 spanking on the scale and I lived to tell about it.“ 

I am sure there will be a discussion about this post.

plateI did not say that a spanking scale is a good idea – in fact, I think it’s a bit silly.  But, for the purpose of illustration I pointed out that the spanking was only a 2 on a 1-5 scale.

Now,  if we did have such a scale, I might mention that my wife has had frequent 1’s and 2’s, an occasional 3, maybe once close to a 4, but never a 5.

Then again, tomorrow is a new day.

The End Of Summer Cleaning Weekend

plateMy wife and I are very much alike is so many wonderful ways.  However, having a tolerance for clutter and general household organization are not on that list.  Let’s just say that my wife is able to tolerate clutter and disorganization much better than I can.

In fact, those differences have been the cause of many arguments in our marriage.  They are also a big reason why we chose to adopt discipline in our relationship.  Understand that I am organized and rarely leave a mess – so this is not about cleaning up after me, it’s about everyone cleaning up after themselves and keeping things in order.

Now,  I must say that my wife has done a great job of keeping up with this responsibility since we have agreed on the consequences for ignoring it.  She has done an amazing job recently, but having a clutter-free and well organized house 100% of the time does not enthuse her nearly as much as it does me.

So, this weekend I have proclaimed it “End of Summer Cleaning Weekend.”  Imagine her excitement.  We both have our list of around the house “must do’s” and so we’ll let you know how it goes.

1Just as quick note to let you know how our end of the summer cleaning is going.  Well I have managed to keep up so far.  We (I do mean we) didn’t get as much done today as we planned but managed to get the two biggest items on our lists done.  I wasn’t sure if he was going to make it, but he pulled it out.

After getting up early to make sure I had enough time, I got to spend time laying across his lap for a much needed bottom rub this afternoon.  No spanking today, but tomorrow could bring anything.  More to come, I am sure.

plateWell, the weekend did not end without my wife getting a discipline spanking – let’s call it a minor discipline spanking – a 2 on a scale of 1 to 5.  Wait, we don’t have a spanking scale – maybe now we do.  That sounds like another post.  Anyway, I think the “2” made my point this weekend.

Finding The Time For A Spanking

plateOne of our biggest challenges with a discipline relationship is finding the time for a spanking.  It is not because of our busy lives (although that can sometimes be a challenge in itself) but more because we simply do not have enough alone time in the house, or at least at the appropriate times.

This happened over the weekend when my wife admittedly needed some quality time over my lap. Not for a discipline spanking, , but for what we refer to as a good girl spanking – the comfort and security of my hand on her bare bottom.  However, the events of a busy holiday weekend and a full household prevented it from happening.

On one hand, the anticipation of a pink stingy bottom and the special attention that normally follows a good girl spanking can be a good thing – as anticipation in itself can be very invigorating.

On the other hand, too much time and anticipation can lead to frustration, and frustration can lead to a bad attitude, and a bad attitude can lead to, well, trouble. That anticipated and much needed good girl spanking can turn into a well deserved and uncomfortable discipline spanking before you can say “pull your panties down.” 

Fortunately (for my wife’s cute little bottom) we did not get to that point this weekend before we found some quality time alone, but it was close.  We did learn that putting off a spanking – whether it’s a good girl spanking or a discipline spanking – is something we need to try and avoid in the future.

The Rules Have Not Really Changed

plateWhen we made the decision to include discipline in our marriage, it did not change our household rules very much.  They have always been reasonably simple, and they still are – responsibility, open communication, and respect.

What has changed since we introduced discipline in our marriage is accountability.  In the past, simple rules like picking up around the house or being on time were often ignored which lead to arguments and frustration for both of us.

Now with the prospect of a good old fashioned bare bottom spanking for such things, it’s rare to find clutter around the house and my wife is not only on time, she is often ahead of schedule.  Most important, with the rules being followed there is much more harmony in our home and closeness in our marriage.

Do You Deserve A Spanking?

plateComplete bliss in a marriage is a fairy tale, and anyone who expects things to be perfect all of the time will certainly be disappointed.  There will always be those moments of conflict in any relationship, and in a discipline relationship how those moments are handled must be carefully considered.

A discipline spanking for breaking rules is pretty simple and straight forward.  Spanking for an attitude or “bad moment” is a very different story.  Depending on the circumstances, if I decide to settle things with a discipline spanking it could actually escalate the situation, not resolve it.

Discipline is not always the best way to solve a problem or correct a behavior.  I believe that there are times when a calm discussion and a loving hug can be more effective than a discipline spanking to put us back on the same page.  I have also found that sometimes it is most effective to let my wife take time to think about her behavior and decide if a discipline spanking is in order.  While this may not be common practice in most discipline relationships, it works for us.

So whether the best solution to a particular situation is a discipline spanking or a caring hug, when the dust settles closeness and resolution is what it’s all about no matter what it takes to get there.

Exploring Life, Love, And Discipline

plateIt was a quick stop at a convenience store for a pack of cigarettes and a coke when the girl behind the counter caught my eye.  She was beautiful, but beyond that I somehow knew the moment I saw her she was different.  There was something very special about her and a far away look in her eyes that spoke to me.  OK, I will admit that the way her perfect round bottom filled out her tight blue jeans spoke to me as well.

That was 27 years ago, and that beautiful girl has been by my side every day – from our first date to being my wife for nearly a quarter of a century.

I am so blessed to have such a wonderful woman by my side.  She is not only beautiful, she is smart, loving, unselfish, and I thank God for her every day.  She is the only woman I want to share my life with – forever.  For the record, she still has the most perfect bottom I have ever seen.

We have had our share of ups and downs over the years, but without a doubt there have been many more good times than bad.  It seems that the majority of our disagreements have all been linked to a common problem in many relationships – two people with equal roles, and neither one in control or in a position of authority.  This creates a power struggle which leads to anger, resentment, and other hurtful emotions. These feelings often get buried and never resolved.

It is this realization that led us to explore discipline in our relationship. Someone who is in charge, the one with the final word and the authority to consistently enforce rules to avoid conflict and disorder in the household.

Our decision to include discipline in our marriage has brought us closer together than we have ever been. The rules for our home and our relationship are rules we have developed together, and far from one-sided.  They are about us – and our family.  While some of these rules may not be “popular” for one reason or another, we have both agreed on them for the common good.

It is up to me to be sure that the rules for our household be followed and respected, and what consequences follow when they are not.

1Just like my husband said, we both chose and agreed to include discipline in our relationship.  At first I wasn’t really sure how this would work, I just knew that we needed it.

I can tell you right now we don’t have a three-inch binder filled with rules.  What we do have is a higher level of trust, love and respect for each other, more than we have ever had before.  We have found there is closeness in a discipline relationship that is so wonderful.  I don’t know if I can put it in words, but maybe this will make sense – even when I am at work and he is at work, I feel him all around me.  It’s like he is right there by my side.  I have always known he was by my side, but this feeling is different.

I have to say it is so nice that when we can’t come to agreement on something, I know he will just make the decision that is best for our family.  I honestly didn’t think that I would be able to just let go and let him do that, but now I just expect it to happen.  I have found that having my husband take control of those situations is not only a great feeling,  it is also a great sense of relief for me.

So, the purpose of this blog is to share our thoughts and experiences as we explore life, love, and discipline – together.